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The Police. They patrol our streets. They keep us safe. They put their lives on the line every single day. And five Hollywood celebrities are about to cross the thin blue line. If you mixed Cops the Fox TV series with the Surreal Life, it would be Armed & Famous. I'm not sure how much of this show is real, but most of La Toya's stuff seems fake.  

Season 1 - 2007

101 I Never Thought I'd Get Handcuffed by a Jackson - A limo arrives at the steps of the Muncie Police department with five celebrities (Erik Estrada, La Toya Jackson, Jack Osbourne, Jason "Wee-Man" Acuna and Trish Stratus) who undergo police training and become reserve officers in the Muncie, Indiana police department under Chief Joe Winkle. Their 3 weeks of training is over in the first half of the show under the supervision of Sgt. Rick Eber. He tells Jason he saw his movie and wasn't impressed and tells La Toya she can't sing and dance her way out of this. They are first shown the famous footage of a Texas cop pulling over 2 men who open fire on him while he's searching them and then  have to practice traffic stops including those where they get shot at, taser training including getting tased by 50,000 volts. All have it attached, but Trish gets shot. Then hand to hand and take down training and gun range training. This is where the title comes from when Jason is cuffed by La Toya he says it. After Rick says he feels bad for being so hard, but they proved themselves. Then Jason goes to a bar while the rest of the cast tries to figure out a Laundromat. La Toya can't work the change machine and asks for help. There is a town graduation ceremony with 200 people welcoming them to the job. The next day they start on the 6pm shift under Sgt. Jay Turner and each cast member is paired with a real cop. Erik is with Officer Jami Turner, La Toya is with Officer Amy Kesler, Jason is with Officer Scott O'Dell, Jack is with Officer Damon Stovall and Trish is with Officer Kyle Temple. Jason  pulls over a DUI suspect who is weaving all over. They search him and find multiple crack pipes on the man. He has many pockets and tons of junk on him. He just wants to go home SWAT clears a drug house and Erik gets to see what they found and take out the suspect - a 75 year old woman with no teeth. She's glad to meet Ponch and has seen all the movies of his series.  Jack goes to a domestic call where a man trashed a trailer and then got hit by the owner. He has crab hands so Jack feels sorry for him and is disciplined by the Sgt. for not having him put his cigarette out and searching him with his hands behind his head. La Toya goes to the Texas Roadhouse where they through peanut shells on the floor and isn't happy there is no tablecloth, so they make out out of napkins. She also wants a fingerbowl. Then they go to a house where a big man has a warrant and he struggles with them. A second suspect inside also has to be taken out. Jason takes pictures and signs autographs for female fans. Trish goes to a house fire caused by a Christmas tree after the FD puts it out and comforts the couple. The man rescued the children, but the house is a loss. Inside they find all the presents safe in a metal box. She hugs them and says she's there for them and they thank her. She never knew the job would be like this. Kyle says "their worst day, our every day." The cast goes out for dinner after at the Sunrise Diner to talk about their day. Outtake of Jason hitting his head on the door. 1/10/07
102 The Cats of Muncie, They Have it Out for Me! - Erik goes to a domestic between a younger black guy and older fat white woman. He hates wifebeaters and is eager to bust the drunk guy who recognizes him as Ponch. She says he's hit her before, but not this time, he's just made threats. Erik feels that's good enough to take him to jail.  Trish goes to the call of a burglary and find a drunk man who kicked in a hole in a neighbor's door. He's belligerent and goes down fighting and the men have to cuff him. She's does little except tell him to shut his mouth and is proud of himself. Jason goes to a call of a shoplifting suspect in the mall. When he finds a woman that matches the description he stops her to talk. She won't listen to him, says he's not a real cop and tries to get away. She gets on the phone and tries to call her boyfriend. They arrest her for disorderly conduct.  La Toya finds a car that was broken into and alerts the owners at the house who had no idea it happened and claim it's the second time now. The guy comes out and only says a red lighter was taken. Then they find a guy walking down the street who has the same lighter on his and is arrested. Then they go back to the house and they have a cat and La Toya flips out. She has a phobia of cats and locks herself in the car to get away. Amy can't even get in to get the paperwork and laughs. The woman comes back holding the cat and La Toys flips. An old woman named Cathy comes over and wants Erik to sign her boob and she pulls out a fake boob. He's shocked thinking she meant a real boob, then he asks Jami if she has anything she wants signed. Trish goes to a call of prostitution and finds a couple sitting in a pickup truck. They pull him out with his pants open. He admits to giving $20 for oral. She says they were just talking, he was giving her a ride and his truck died in front of her friend's house. She denies ever being a whore even though they find a $20 in her pocket. While off duty Erik and Jami get a manicure and facial together and Erik asks how she does the job since she looks like a goddess. She says she talks, she's heard it all from guys and isn't an actress. Then they get cucumber's on their eyes. Jason takes Scott to a skate park since he's good at that and wants Scott to experience his world, but Scott never skated before and wipes out hard a few times and doesn't get up. La Toya decides to cook for Amy at her house and goes out and buys food at a small grocery store, but can't get the delicacies she's used to. Amy's husband is also a cop. La Toya goes to a bar where a woman was caught stealing from the cash register. They find the money outside and the woman is homeless, has 2 kids and is pregnant. La Toya counsels her about abuse at the station telling her she was abused and she needs to get out of it and make something of herself. Jack assists on a search warrant for a murderer. They pull over a car with Jack pulling his gun, but it's the wrong one and then get told where the guy is and pull him out of his house while Jack covers the back as the real cops go inside.  La Toya decides to go to therapy to overcome her fear of cats. She saw one attack her sister when she was young and has been afraid ever since. She can't look at pictures, but is able to pet a kitten that is brought in and is miraculously cured - now she can be a better cop. Jason goes to a domestic call where a small Mexican man choked an older white woman. He claims not to speak English so they call Erik in to translate and he yells at the guy for not being a real man and the guy says Erik is his idol from watching Spanish Chips.  Trish gets the call of a old man swinging a pool cue at a gas station. When they get there they find out he's harmless. The old small man claims he's a Cherokee named David Wonky Tonky and does a dance and crazy moves for them. They laugh until he starts punching himself.  La Toya goes alone to serve a warrant on a woman who won't come out of the house. There's a cat in the yard that doesn't freak her out too much and this is where the title of the show comes from. Amy laughs so she must've known they were planting a cat. The ugly woman won't come out even with a warrant and real cops show up to help out as she struggles. La Toya tells her about going to therapy and is Amy is surprised.  Like before the show ends with the cast at the Sunrise Diner talking about the day. La Toya says everyone they meet lies. Erik thinks people are mostly good. Outtake of Jason singing a song about Muncie over the radio. 1/11/07
103 If He Starts Pointing the Gun? Do What You Were Trained to Do - Trish - on a one way road a car comes at them head on. The driver says she made a mistake and is not drunk. The passenger is drunk though and calls Trish a sexy bitch. Steve just sits there laughing and throws up his hands. Jack feels confident, so does Trish. La Toya loves going out there. Jason says they are new and have to find out what they are amazing at. Erik says he's comfortable in the uniform. Erik - they have a tip that a backhoe is going to be stolen, but he has no idea what a backhoe is. Officer Jimmy Johnson meets them and fills them in. They have a K-9 in case the suspect runs. It's raining and they have to wait. They tells him to let the K-9 go in first. What if he has a gun? Do what you are trained to do. The guy is loading it onto a flatbed trailer and Erik tells him to get out, he does, but then runs for it. The dog is let loose and catches him down the road and the guy howls. They cuff him, lift him up and he has a bite on his waist. Erik says he's sorry it happened, but he didn't have to run. Why do you make stupid choices. He's not as fortunate as Erik. Erik says he grew up on welfare and sold sno-cones on the street. They congratulate Erik for doing well. Trish - they need a female officer to search a woman. He's arrested her before 2 blocks from his own house. She says she didn't do anything and never has. They cuff Teresa and she slams herself on the hood of the car. Trish searches her and after he says she did it all wrong. She didn't cuff her and patted her too low and could've gotten kicked. He tells her it sucked and she can only make one mistake like that. He takes her to a park where there's a memorial for dead officers. He shows her the name of his partner that missed a gun during a search and was killed, he doesn't want that to happen again, no more names on the list. He says he had to hand the man's wife the flag at the funeral and he saw his wife there and realized that could be him next time and he cries. She says she'll never make that mistake again. La Toya - she calls her mom and she doesn't understand why she's doing this, she's not tough enough. La Toya says she had to prove herself and to talk to the cops. She says she would have to prove it to her too and she's her mom. Amy talks to her and says she's doing well. Mom thinks they should have male partners. She says they can call them. Jason - they assist on a DWI pursuit. They are giving him a field test and the car is damaged, but it's new. He says he has a 9mm in his waist. Jason talks to the 17 year old girlfriend Brittany. He asks her if she knew he had the gun and what he was doing with it. Then Jason finds a bag of weed. She says she doesn't know about that and has never been in trouble before. The kid says he wasn't going to shoot anyone, he was running the pot to his best friend. He's never been to jail before, he won't do it again. They let Brittany go with her friend and her dad and she breaks down. The cop says he has a 17 year old daughter too. La Toya - Amile Swallow has a warrant for abuse. and they are looking for him. They find him standing outside his house and cuff him. They talk to his woman who says he's been arrested 4-5 times. She woke up at noon, he was up all night drinking and threw her against the wall. La Toya tells her she can't let it happen again. He says he pushed her and held her down, but never hit her. Tell them that. She says he did hit her. He wants her away. Amy curses him out and says he won't admit he has a problem, he's not a real man, he keeps making excuses. Jack - they are looking for Rebecca Fultz who has a warrant for violation of probation and drugs. Wendell answers the door, says she hasn't been there in 4-5 days. She comes and goes, doesn't know where she'd go. No one has seen her. Jack says it's a weird house, a party den and he would know, having spent much time in them. He talks about getting sober, it's the hardest thing he's done. His partner asks him about it. He says he was suicidal, strung out, did lots of drugs and his parents sent him away when he was 17. He ran away and decided he couldn't do it anymore. It's giving him a new appreciation for what cops do and makes him a better person. Then they get a call that Rebecca is at a motel. They knock and a man comes out. She's inside so they cuff her. She asks why? She says she loves Jose. She's missed 5 days. She cries for rehab, can you do that? Jack says the court will decide. She says they'll put her in prison, will that help? He says it won't. He knows rehab will dry you out. It'll teach you to sober out, then you have to go to meetings. She went to one. He says go to 90 meetings in 90 days, it's like rehab and it's free. He sits in the backseat with her. She's on crack. He says it'll keep happening until she gets a heavy jail sentence or dies. She needs to break free from it. He has friends like her, to help herself it has to come from within. Erik - they go to a fight in progress. An old man says you don't know. His head is all cut and someone hit him in the bathroom. Erik wants to get the guy, but he doesn't. He was so drunk he might've fallen in the bathroom and cracked his head open. He wants them away from him. They go to search him and he flips out, starts yelling at a guy and goes for him. They both hold him down until they can cuff him. You have to protect people from themselves. He just thinks he was hit. EMS arrives and will take him to the hospital or jail. Jason - they get a call of stolen equipment in a truck. They find the truck abandoned on the road. They go with guns drawn and it's empty. The man who lives there says they skidded on his lawn. There's supposed to be $20,000 of equipment in the back. He looks in, it's mostly junk, maybe $1,000. Then the owners pull up and are glad they found it. They say it looks like everything is there including one piece worth $10,000. They know Jason and take a picture with him and thank him. Trish - they go to a domestic. Danielle is drunk and they go to take her away and give her a BAC and she blows a .255. She searches her better this time and puts her in the back. A girl comes over for an autograph, but they have to go. Dan says his boys watch wrestling. La Toya - they get a call of a woman on the way to a birthing center and the baby comes out on the way. They load her into a wheelchair and the baby is already out. They put her into a bed and have to cut the cord. Amy cries and La Toya can't believe it. Sunshine Diner - La Toya isn't there and Trish fills them in. Later they bring the baby to the station so they can see it. Jack says his fingers smell nice and makes his partner smell them. 1/17/07
104 I Should Not Have Lost My Cool 1/24/07
105 Unfortunately, Sometimes Police Work Requires the Use of Force - unaired
106 unaired
107 unaired

2007-08 Thrawn for Thrawn's Realm